Conversation as a space of virtue and perversion - Part II: On integrity in the age of authenticity
I am amazed at the number of people around me who are "on a quest for their truth" or who, having already found it, use it as an argument similar to those used in a childish tantrum: "(...) yes, but it's my truth", as if to say "too bad" or "it's yes because it is" or "no because it isn't". Judging by the number of references to this phenomenon that I hear almost daily, it seems to me that the salvation of our species will be achieved when we can truly find ourselves. We will have saved ourselves when we are able to be authentic1.
Going along with the fad and trying to be truthful, what I feel about this is more irritation than amazement. The irritation is similar to what I have felt about other previous fashions. Remember when we always or as much as possible had to "think outside the box"? Then, and often in conjunction with the previous one, it was essential that we "got out of our comfort zone". Now, truth, authenticity appear as the cure for humanity's ills.
I see at least two important obstacles to the hypothesis of authenticity as a solution. The first is the idea that the search for authenticity seems to be an individual and individualistic exercise, as I wrote in the first part of this text2. I do not believe that we have, as a species, enough maturity to allow the whole to be saved by the sum of its parts. What we observe in most parts is, more and more, the "every man for himself" and the "me first, before anyone else". In this way it will be difficult to find a solution that encompasses and contemplates more than one person. The second obstacle, which will reinforce the first, is that truth is relative. Beyond this obviousness - is this still an obvious idea? - and relativity, truth is increasingly being called into question. It is increasingly easy to take the lie as its opposite and increasingly difficult to trust what we know to be true. The blame lies largely with the profusion of bullshit, as I have written before3. By coupling this extreme and unfounded relativity with an individualistic individuality, the search for truth becomes the search for constant, irritating and insignificant self-justification.
I turn again to the conversation as an example or as a starting point for reflection. Consider the following hypothesis: the competences that, for example, a psychotherapist4must develop that will make her recognisable and good at her job, are very close to those that a fraudster must have in order to be successful. Let's see, in both activities, conversation is used to achieve the desired results. And being a conversational artisan implies: activating attention and concentration, demonstrating the ability to listen, empathising and understanding, showing interest and captivating the interest of the other; it also involves being able to improvise and adapt to the other person and their context. All these dimensions will serve the different purposes with equal convenience; even if they are as disparate as helping and supporting or deceiving and convincing. It is also curious that all these skills and abilities should be used with authenticity and truth as a backdrop. Only in this way can they be recognised and, above all, "welcomed" by the interlocutors.
So where does the difference lie? I believe we will find it in the "dangerous" moral dimension. Dangerous because, as with truth and authenticity, everyone has their own. It is also dangerous because we run the risk of falling into clichés, however true they may be, of the lack of values or of the phenomenon we see in ethics trainings5. The difference between a (good) psychotherapist and a ("good") con man lies, fundamentally, in the intention and integrity of one and the other. While the interest of the former should be the promotion of the well-being of the other, the intention of the latter is personal gain at the expense of others.
Authenticity is associated with the binomial "truth-truth". Integrity goes beyond a binomial. In its literal sense, integrity has to do with what is whole, healthy, where none of its constituent parts is missing. In its figurative sense, integrity is linked to righteousness and honour. What would the world be like today if we were more concerned with developing honour and if we were more (cor)rect with each other? Perhaps we are so busy discovering what truth and falsehood are because honour, rectitude and purity of intention are on the way out.
In conversation, that is, in the way we interact with each other and with the world, it will not be technique or authenticity that will help us improve and evolve in our human dimension. It will be something much closer to showing genuine interest in others which, paradoxically "is a disinterested interest", as my wife wisely told me. It is an inclusive interest, which includes the other, I would add. Something that a fraudster can never achieve because he is neither concerned with the truth nor with lies; he is only concerned with getting what he wants, through "his" truth.
Written for Link to Leaders on 12 February 2020; published 19 February 2020
1.Calling a spade a spade - Part 2: From banalities to barbarities.
3. Calling a spade a spade: the case of business jargon.
4. We use psychotherapy as an example but any activity which involves the establishment of a professional helping relationship mediated through conversation could be referred to.
5. If you don't know the phenomenon, it is simple to explain. In the ethics trainings I have attended all the people who attend are extremely ethical and can solve the dilemmas presented with flying colours. The real challenge is in practice and not in theory.
