Self-help is always an invitation to submit one's own thinking, critical thinking, to the thinking and experience of another. Critical thinking is the exercise of questioning one's own thinking. Only after that should you even think about directing your attention to someone else's thinking.

Everyone suddenly has something special to say about important matters, and what there is to say must be said in a hurry to get there first. Haste is the enemy of listening, observation, introspection and reflection, which are the ingredients of thoughtfulness, wisdom and consideration. Good conversations are also made without haste.