Silence! You will hear
Silence has a particular configuration when we are alone. In solitude, silence is noisy. Isn't it always noisy? In any case, in those moments the internal "sound" increases and reaches a volume that overrides any external noise, unless one of the latter catches our interest or saves us from an uncomfortable internal noise.
Silence in the relationship with another gains another configuration, another complexity and, therefore, another richness. Listening is not only hearing and deciphering what one receives but, precisely because one deciphers, because one interprets, it implies simultaneously listening to oneself. Listening is therefore a two-way phenomenon with two meanings: it implies listening to the other and "listening to listening".
On the other hand, the one who is listened to, if the listener knows how to do it, has the privilege of not being left in a vacuum. Because even that silence which seems embarrassing, if it is provoked by the listener, is not devoid of content; it is not silent. One can even risk saying that between two people silence is never silent and always has a message to transmit. Thus, whoever is listened to gives himself to the flow of his ideas and affections, inseparable dimensions, and there, after much practice in being well-listened to, the probabilities of finding a truth increase. So much is said in moments of silence. How good a shared silence can be.
And what is this good listening? First of all, the art of good listening implies an ethical quality, as Gonçalo M. Tavares tells us. A good listener shows, also through his particular way of listening, genuine respect, interest and curiosity for the legitimate other, who is willing to be listened to. A good listener is only passive in appearance; he actively seeks to be silent so that, first of all, he can listen to his judgements, prejudices and affections. Not only the ones he already brings with him but also those that are born or awaken from the interaction. Only after knowing them and questioning them will you be in a position to decipher what comes from outside you. For nothing that comes from outside remains there once it enters. We can even say that we become the owners, that we appropriate, of all the messages that, in their origin, did not belong to us.
Therefore, as I wrote somewhere before, in relation to others, it is not possible not to listen, it is only possible not to be interested. When it comes to ourselves, then that statement is no longer valid.
