Give me back my difficulties

I didn't really know what my former student Emanuel's (let's call him that) invitation to talk to him about selling people management software products was about.

His startup was in an innovative, elegant, large physical space in a sophisticated area of Lisbon. Emanuel started by telling me that before he developed this new product he had tried another one but it was "very challenging". He emphasized in a discouraged tone "very, very challenging and we gave up".

I stood there for a few moments, perplexed, trying to understand the sentence, feeling that something was not right in my ears, but without identifying what.

Then I realized, it was the word "challenge". According to Emanuel, the "challenge", which apparently because it was excessive, was insurmountable.

After the meeting I found myself reflecting on the conversation and the words that were missing from Emanuel's speech appeared to me: "difficult. Difficulty. Adversity. Problem. The previous project had been abandoned because it was too... difficult ("challenging").

I realized that it was a norm of the new orthodoxy of corporate discourse: no difficulties and no problems, only "challenges. This substitution should ensure cheer and motivation to anyone.

I found that several people - and organizations - were making this forced substitution of "difficulty" for "challenge," which in practice prevents the other person from being able to express their feelings in the face of adversity. As if that is inconvenient, as if it is unprofessional. This is what we are talking about when we talk about "toxic positivity," which silences the negative, in a trick of self-deception.

None of this seems to make sense to me. I need to be authentic to myself, to acknowledge my emotions with sincerity in order to act consciously and with freedom. Toxic positivity hinders my freedom and exchanges it for a plastic smile.

To roll up my sleeves and have courage, I need to accept that at first I was afraid and that despite this I got back on my feet and went to fight, maybe even with fear and courage at the same time.

So please be so kind as to give me back my difficulties so that I can freely choose my challenges.

Original published on LinkedIn by Paulo Baptista da Silva, long-time partner at Way Beyond, resident teacher and mentor at WBCC Advanced.